Lettign Go May Not Be the Answer

In an email I subscribe to:

I don’t know if I can do this for much longer. I have been involved with a man for close to five years. When we’re together, we’re like a married couple who love each other dearly, and although it’s passionate and intense when we’re together, we’ve never had the time needed to see if we’re truly compatible beyond the wild lovemaking and sweet friendship. We’re both single, travel a lot, and live thousands of miles away from each other, and we’re both probably commitment-phobes. However, I think we’re both changing – I am anyway – and all this in and out, on and off, is getting tiring. At the moment, we’re not together, but as usual, that will change – next week or next month… Do you think this has any future of growing into something more consistent, or would you suggest I let him go and move on?


Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Christina,

There is a very bright and strong bond that you and this man share. A little karma, a little convenience and a little destiny. It really does seem challenging for each of you not to reconnect with the other, but the on-and-off pattern that has been established appears as if it’s going to repeat.

One of the big challenges that stands between the two of you is timing. Currently, you’re more open to, and desiring of, a stabilized and traditional relationship than he is. When he thinks of “settling down,” he does envision it with you. However, this is not a concept he’s planning to embrace for several more years, which is likely to feed the embers conflict you already have smoldering within you.

Complicated as things may feel, it doesn’t seem as if you’re under any pressure to make a permanent decision regarding this man and his place in your life – at least not at this time. This is something that simply needs to “play out.” Deciding to move on would not/will not expel him from your system. That, and the fact that you haven’t met anyone who is remotely as interesting or desirable, helps to keep the bond the two of you have created somewhat firmly in place. So, while letting go may seem like a sound, logical plan – it is not without flaw. There is more to come between the two of you before you can make any deciding judgments.

While so many people go through life hoping to connect with one person who is a true soulmate or on a soulmate level, you’re blessed (or cursed) with having two. There is another man who will be entering your life, what looks like late in the fall of next year, with whom you will immediately connect and feel bonded to. This most certainly is going to shake things up, but who you spend the next chapter of your life with will be up to you. Your old love will not want to lose you, but he’s still going to be hesitant to solidify the relationship. Your new love is ready for a more permanent arrangement and is likely to pressure you a bit to toward exclusivity.

I see you feeling caught in the middle of these two men, and you will struggle with the pros and cons of each man and relationship. But, from what I’m seeing, it looks as if you will begin to let go of the past and your lover, and embrace a future with this new man who is obviously head over heels in love with you.

Bright Blessings,

Red

I must remember

this was taken from an advice column called Dear Sugar:

When you meet a man in the doorway of a Mexican restaurant who later kisses you while explaining that this kiss doesn’t “mean anything” because, much as he likes you, he is not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone right now, just laugh and kiss him back. Your daughter will have his sense of humor. Your son will have his eyes.

On with the living

I miss him. I know I should try to focus on other things, and I am, but I do miss him. Also, I know for as fact he misses me too. I wonder how long he'll last through this standoff. He's already cracking. Although, I'm going to make sure I don't tease him about it. The last thing I want is for him to think I'm belittling him. I care about him too much and have too much respect for him to do that.

I've been out with the girls alot: birthday dinner for Rabbi's Daughter at the Shrink's. Very nice, her mom came too. It was like having my mom there, just with an Israeli accent. Boobs was there, an Mini Me. There was this really good wine, something Penguin. There were little feet on the cork and bottle, and it was very good. Flea market/Antiques Fair with Eye Doc this past weekend. Brunch first at Honeys, then the Flea Market. I got a beautiful pair of 1950s navy blue velvet pumps. They'll go with my blue velvet dress with the scoop back and train. The vintage displayed was amazing! We'll have to go again. Went to Jones for the first time for Rabbi's Daughter's birthday. (It was a week long event). Things are really moving along for her and the Half Jap. I'm really happy for her. he seems very nice, and I'm curious how things work out later this week after they meet for lunch. I hope it goes well.

So, checked off my "to do" list:
GREs retaken, with decent score- Check
Reapplied to Drexel - Check
Actually got insurance on my phone (during an open enrollemnt period, who knew?) and am getting a new cell phone. It arrives today! - Check
A few people interested in the house - Check!! well, they've expresed interest. Let's hope they come look at it and make an offer.
Have been trying to get back into the online dating thing, but just am not entirely in the mood. I would love to meet someone, either the Gipper or someone else, or someone for "in the meantime", but the online dating thing, well, honestly, I need a computer for that. :)

And then there's the Gipper. We had a potluck brunch two weekends ago. It was two and half weeks since I had seen him, but we had both agrred to go before our disagreement so we both went. G-d it was good to see him. He was all bouncy and bubbly and how he is when I know he's happy to see me. I love him like that! :) His brother and sister in law had just had a baby that week, so he said he was happy about that, but I know better. ;) But I made it clear that although I was glad to see him, things weren't going to go back to the way they ahd been just like that. I somewhat avoided him while making it look like I was just mingling. By the end of the afternoon, we were talking with people on opposite sides of the room instead of being joined at the hip as per our usual. There was no animosity, just an understanding, I guess. The hug hello he gave me when I first got there was an "I missed you" hug that was wonderful, although didn't last nearly long enough for me. But when he left, it was the same quick hug he gave to everyone.

He tried at the beginning of the week to get my attention through little posts or comments to my posts on facebook, but I was biting. By mid week, he had quieted down. By the weekend, he started posting what he was doing and where he was going, as I was doing. Either just to keep up, or to show that he was out and about too. Again, I didn't bite. Then this morning, I get a fb chat message from him. "Hey Katy! How are you?" I responded with "Hey there! Good, how are you?" He sent me a quick reply that things were busy at work. He's been dealing with adjusting to having a new partner. And I then wrote him back about the few things that are going on in my life: phone, school, house. Then I hear nothing from him. It's now early afternoon. That was this morning and still, nothing. I wonder what game he thinks he's going to win this time? ;)

I did though get a relationship ebook by Rori Raye. It's a facinating perspective, that I want to try, that I am somewhat trying, we'll see how it goes.